How to file your income tax returns on iTax in ten easy steps

 When iTax was introduced a few years back, I was very clueless about it and after lots of frustrations trying to understand how to do it, I ended up filing manual income tax returns.

 Still reeling from the frustrations of the previous year, last year I paid someone to do it for me, but this year, I was determined to do it myself and to do it way earlier than June, so I got a friend to walk me through in April (thanks, Peter!) and discovered that it was a very simple process.

They say that the best way to get a lesson to stick, is to teach someone what you've been taught, and I have found this to be true these last few days while showing people how to manoeuvre the iTax system, and in the process, I have also learnt a lot.

I'm writing this post to be able to share what I have learnt and also as a point of reference for the coming years (sometimes memory fails me). This is in reference to filing income tax returns for 2015 in 2016, but it applies whichever year you need to use this guide. So without further ado, let me take you through the process of filing your income tax returns on the iTax system, with a bias on employed, unemployed/students and Kenyans who live abroad. Then I'll handle the FAQs in another blog post. Here we go:

Please note that all Kenyans over 18 are supposed to have a KRA PIN and are supposed to file returns every year, whether they have a job or not (yes, even students must file (nil) returns.) If you fail to file returns, or file them late (after the 30th June deadline), you will be fined Sh10, 000 or 25% of the tax due, whichever figure is higher.

THINGS YOU NEED

If you are currently employed, you need:

• P9 form – get this from the payroll/accounts department of the employer whom you were working for in 2015. If you had more than one employer in 2015, get the P9 forms from all the employers you were working for in 2015. If you are jobless, but you were working last year, get this from your 2015 employer.

• KRA PIN number – find it on your pay slip or ask your payroll accountant to tell you or get it from KRA by sending a scanned copy of your national ID and requesting for your PIN number. You can reach KRA through their iTax centres around the country, through Huduma Centres around the country, on Facebook or via email callcentre@kra.go.ke or telephone (020) 4999 999, 0711099 999.

• iTax website https://itax.kra.go.ke/

If you are unemployed and were still unemployed in 2015, you need:

• KRA PIN number – find it on your pay slips from your former job or get it from KRA by sending them a scanned copy of your ID and requesting for your PIN number.

• iTax website https://itax.kra.go.ke/

If you were not living/working in Kenya in 2015, you need:

• KRA PIN number – find it on your pay slips from your former job in Kenya or get it from KRA by sending them a scanned copy of your national (Kenyan) ID and requesting for your PIN number.

• iTax website https://itax.kra.go.ke/

STEP 1

Go to the iTax website https://itax.kra.go.ke/  and log in (Enter your PIN number and click continue, enter your password, do the calculation and get the correct answer and enter it in the relevant space [security stamp] then click log in). If you can’t remember your password, click on “forgot password/unlock account” and check your email for the new password. 

STEP 2

Once you log in, this is the page you will get.

If you were unemployed for the entire 2015 (January to December) click on “returns” on the red menu bar (circled in yellow) and choose the fifth option “File NIL return”. Fill in the dates: from 01/01/2015 to 31/12/2015 and the other relevant info except “wife PIN” (unless you are also filing returns for your wife), then click submit. You are done. Wait for next year to file nil returns again if you still remain unemployed the whole of 2016. If you get a job, even for a few months, you’ll need to file returns next year.

If you were not living/working in Kenya for the entire 2015, also file nil returns, just like the people who were unemployed.

If you were employed in 2015, whether for a few months or the full year, click on returns on the red menu bar (circled in yellow) and choose the first option which is “file returns”

If you have already filed 2015 returns, but you need to change something, click on returns on the red menu bar (circled in yellow) and choose the third option which is “file amended return”.

 

STEP 3

KRA has already filled the first two options for you, so just click on the drop down arrow on the third option “tax obligation” and choose the relevant choice. For most people that is the first option “Income tax – resident individual”. Click next.

Income tax – rent income option is for landlords who are paying tax on rent collected.

STEP 4

Download the Excel spreadsheet by clicking on it, it will open as a ZIP file. Double-click on the Excel spreadsheet inside the ZIP file to open it. Keep your P9 form at hand because you will need to fill the information on it on the Excel spreadsheet.

STEP 5

First things first, click on “enable content” on the yellow line at the top of the Excel sheet, so you can be able to fill in the form.

At the bottom, you’ll notice that there are six Excel sheets and the first one is the one you are on right now. It is called “basic info”. Fill in all the relevant details and scroll down to fill in the rest of the details if you have a landlord and if you have a tenant and if you are an auditor (most people don’t need/choose not to fill these landlord/tenant/auditor details). 

Please note that for every field you choose yes, a new sheet will appear at the bottom of the Excel sheet requiring you to give more details. You can only fill in the parts that are white and not the charcoal gray parts. Be sure to fill in every field marked with a red asterisk (*). When you are done with the “basic info” sheet, move on to the next sheet titled “F_Employment Income”.

 Keep your P9 form at hand because you need it to fill the remaining Excel sheets. This is how a P9 form looks. It is not usually blank, it usually has the figures you need to fill in the KRA Individual Resident Return form on Excel.

STEP 6

Keep your P9 form close. You need it to fill in the gaps on this sheet titled “F_Employment Income”. Fill in the PIN and name of your employer from your P9 form. Under “gross pay” write the figure you find at the bottom of “COLUMN D” in your P9 form. Most people don’t have allowances and benefits, net value of housing or pension in excess of 300, 000, so fill in zero (0) in those boxes and move to the next sheet titled “Details of PAYE Deducted”

If you had more than one employer in 2015, you'll have more than one P9 form (get them from the respective former employers, payroll department). Include the details from each employer in separate rows (You can add as many rows as the number of employers you had in 2015 and fill in the relevant details using the relevant P9 forms). 

  Please note that when you are filling the Excel sheets, you cannot "cut and paste" you have to fill in manually.

STEP 7

You still need to use your P9 form, so keep it close. 

Open the sheet titled “Details of PAYE deducted”. This is the third sheet on the Excel spreadsheet.

• Fill in the name of employer from your P9 form and the employer’s PIN number still from the P9 form. 

• Fill in taxable salary from the total figure you get under COLUMN H of your P9 form. 

• Fill in Taxable pay on taxable salary from the total figure you get in COLUMN J of the P9 form.

• Fill in amount of tax deducted (PAYE) from the total figure you get on COLUMN L of the P9 form. 

Remember to include details for all employers in additional rows if you had more than one employer in 2015.

Skip the next two sheets i.e. Skip “Advance tax credits” and “IT payments credits” and go to the last sheet titled “Tax computation”.

NB: You only need to fill “Advance tax credits” if you have a commercial vehicle and you only need to fill “IT payments credits” if you paid tax in advance, which most people don’t do. 

STEP 8

Still use your P9 form. 

Open the last sheet titled “Tax computation”. 

You only need to fill two spaces: “defined/pension contribution” and “personal relief”. 

• For defined/pension contribution, fill in the figure you find under COLUMN e2 on your P9 form. 

• For personal relief, for most people it is 13, 944 (which is 1162 multiplied by 12 months), so fill in 13, 944.

• If you worked for less than 12 months in 2015, take the figure you find under “personal relief” COLUMN K on the P9 form and multiply it by the number of months you worked i.e 1162 multiplied by the number of months worked, then fill in the answer you get under “personal relief” on the Excel sheet.

Once you are done filling in the two fields, scroll down and click “validate”.

If there are errors, you will get an alert. At the bottom of the Excel sheet on your extreme left, click on the red tab with the title “errors”. It will show you the errors, click on each and give the correct information, then when you are done fixing all the errors, go back to the last sheet titled “tax computation” and click “validate” again. You will get a message asking you if you want to generate a document. Click “yes”. The document (ZIP file) generates automatically and is saved on your computer under My Documents.

 

STEP 9

To finish, go back to the iTax website and log in again https://itax.kra.go.ke/, click “returns” >> file return >> fill the required info. The required info is: Type of return, return period 01/01/2015 to 31/12/2015, and then click on browse >> My Documents >> select the ZIP file you see ending in _ITR. Click open to upload onto the iTax system. Agree to the terms and conditions, then scroll down and click “submit”

 

STEP 10

Check your email for a notification from KRA, it is sent almost immediately. If the figure in the attached acknowledgment receipt is negative, KRA owes you (they'll pay you when they feel like, like after five years. They'll deposit the cash directly into your bank account, which you already filled in their form). If the figure is positive, you owe KRA. Pay them without delay.

Congratulations! You are done! Let’s do this again next year.

Remember you can file your returns for 2016 as early as January 2017, you don't have to wait till June (the last minute!)

NB: IF YOU REALISE YOU MADE A MISTAKE AFTER YOU HAVE ALREADY FILED YOUR RETURNS, YOU CAN AMEND/MAKE CHANGES/EDIT  >>>:

If after you finish filing your returns, you realise you made a mistake, worry not, you can change it, but do so before the 30^th June deadline. 

To amend your return, repeat the same process, log in to iTax >> click on “returns” >> then “file amended return”.

 Select the tax obligation “Income tax – Resident individual”. 

On the next page that opens, select return period “from 01/01/2015 to 31/01/2015”.

On “type of form to download” select “Excel” then click on download. You will be asked if you want to download the form for amendment, say OK. The Excel file you had filled in will download. Double click on it to open it. 

Click on “enable content” on the yellow line you see at the top. Then click on “amendment” at the bottom left of the page. You’ll get the Excel sheets with all the information you had already filled in; all you need to do is to change whatever you are changing, then go to the last sheet titled “Tax Computation” and click “validate”.

If there are errors, fix them and click “validate” again. Once you validate, you will be asked if you want to download a document (just like in STEP 8), say yes/OK and the document will automatically save in your computer on My Documents. 

Go back to the open amendment page on iTax and click on browse >> My Documents >> and select the new ZIP file (check on the time stamp on the right of the ZIP file to make sure it is the latest i.e. the amended form). Click “open” to upload, then click “submit”. You’re done amending.

 And that's it! You're done amending.

The things we do for beauty!

"Do you have any metal in your body?" 

I looked up at the beautician, startled.

"...You know, like a coil, tooth filling ...," she prompted as I continued to stare at her blankly.

I pondered her question for a few seconds, doing an inventory of my dentist and hospital visits to trace if I had ever had any metal inserted in my body.

"No!" I shook my head vigorously, and satisfied, she went back into the dim inner room, where she had been tinkling with equipment for a good 40 minutes since I walked in.

I wanted to run out of the salon and never come back. Surely any treatment that couldn't be done on someone who had a tooth filling could not be healthy for anyone! What if I had some metal in my body that I did not know about? What if some enzymes had reacted with neutrons to form copper or iron in my body? What if I got electrocuted... what if ... what if ...

The beautician was back again, ushering me into the inner room where the facial would be done. I had a mani-pedi done here a month ago, and though I wasn't happy about how it was done, I was eager to try the facial which one of attendants had sung endlessly about -- the one where a machine, and not the beautician's hands, did everything. That is what I was now here for, and that is what I was now facing with trepidation. If the beautician whipped out a consent form waiving any responsibility if anything happened to me, I would be so out of here.

The treatment room was lit with a dim bluish light, with clinically white walls and an imposing machine that looked like one of those machines that are found in a hospital's ICU complete with regular beeps as if monitoring vital signs and a dental light, in one corner, and the bare essentials (cleanser, scrub, mask, etc) on a shelf in the opposite corner. The room was as cold as a hospital theatre, but I dutifully undressed and wrapped myself in the huge and cosy pearl white towel lying on the bed. I was ready for whatever would be.

The beautician came in and dove straight in. She slathered a cold gel on my face and rolled a pumice ball over it, just like a radiologist doing an ultrasound would, but only this time it was on my face, neck, chest and shoulders. A few minutes later, a brush foamed all around my face, chest and shoulders and every time it tickled the base of my neck, I stifled the urge to let out bubbles of laughter. And so it went on for a while: wipe, pumice, brush, tickle, stifle ... pumice, brush, tickle, stifle ... For a moment the glare of the dental light above my closed eyes, and the bleeping of the machine, went off and I heard the beautician shuffle out of the room, fumble with the mains before coming back to the pumice, brush, tickle, stifle rhythm for a few more minutes.

She wiped my face, and put on the steamers for a while.

"Is it too hot?"

"Only on this side," I answered, pointing to my left cheek.

After steaming, she massaged a cool gel on my face and used what felt like a suction pipe all over my face.

"Smooch! Smooch!" It sucked, and I couldn't help but smile.

Another wipe of the face and an "Usiogope (Don't be afraid)"

I twitched, "Kwa nini?" (Why?)

"Utasikia kama shock ..." (It will feel somewhat like mild electrocution)

Uh-oh! This was the dreadful part, right?

I could hear the buzz of a live electric current and felt welders' sparks meet my skin as if through a live wire. She was burning the acne but there was no pain. She burnt, and burnt, and burnt, until my fears were burnt away. Then she put the "welding machine" away and sprayed my face with a cool mist, then more steam, then squeezed a few stubborn blackheads with a blackhead remover.

She then used a stick to apply a sweet sticky gel on my face, something I recognised a few seconds later as a mask. And as it dried, she ironed my chest with a hot iron, only pausing to ask if it was too hot.

She then peeled off the dried mask, wiped my face with a warm cloth, and asked if I would use their night cream (I said no, I would use my own moisturiser at home). She then told me to sit up as she ironed my back with that hot iron, which I later learnt was a massager, and told me that for best results, I should go for three more facial treatments; one every fortnight and my face would thank me forever. I laughed, told her that my budget would never allow it, but promised to be back in a month.

As I dressed up, I thought of paying the full amount, contrary to what I had negotiated with the attendant; she had shaved off Sh500 from my bill after I haggled for a lower price at the beginning, but I now felt willing to pay the full amount.The experience was worth it. I paid my bill, sticking to the discounted price lest I jinx future bargains, and walked home smiling from ear to ear.

Now a few weeks later, there's an odd pimple here and there, many old scars and a yearning to try something new, something natural. The next regimen to heal my face begins soon. :)

An open letter to Strathmore University on their handling of the emergency drill

1st December, 2015

Dear Strathmore University leaders,

I have looked for your official email addresses all night to no avail. It is now morning and I have no more time left to sacrifice in that pursuit, so allow me to say my piece to you here.

First of all, I applaud your efforts at trying to boost disaster preparedness in the Strathmore fraternity. Given the realities of terror in this country and in the world at large, it is very important that we all know how to respond in the case of a terror attack and any other (unpredictable) emergency situation.

Unfortunately, few institutions have taken up the challenge to prepare their charges for such situations and the few who have, like yourself, must be commended for that. But first a few definitions: A drill is a TEST that happens after adequate TRAINING. Training is teaching. I am alive to the fact that not all students and staff will be trained, and there might be untrained visitors during the drill, however, it would be expected that most of your students and staff have been trained several times on how to respond to various emergencies, bearing in mind that different emergencies may call for a different response. For example, you might respond to fire a little differently than to an armed attacker or to a flood. Once you are satisfied that you have met the standards of adequate training, you can then proceed to test at random through drills.

During training the trainees should be made aware that drills are random to mimic the randomness of a real emergency. However, if the numerous reports from your students on social media are anything to go by, then they either did not receive adequate training before the test (drill) or received no training at all prior to the test. In your own press statement after the drill, you wrote and I quote with capitals for emphasis: "In preparation for this (drill) TEAMS of SECURITY MARSHALLS comprising of staff, students and emergency response teams WERE TRAINED on evacuation, assembly points and exit points."

Anyone with an inkling of information on security drills will tell you that security marshalls form a fraction of the population in which the drill will take place. If only a (small) fraction know what to do in an emergency, how then do you later go on to claim that "The simulation was aimed at TESTING the preparedness of the university community and emergency team in the event of an attack."?

The emergency team passed with flying colors, obviously so, as they had already been trained (great applause from your press statement), but what of the larger university community who took the test without prior training? You may disagree with me, but their response was disastrous. One person dead during a DRILL is one too many. Thirty-one people injured to the point of hospitalisation during a DRILL are just too many. It beats the purpose of testing for disaster preparedness when you already know that majority of your students and staff are ill-equipped to handle a terror attack.

As if a life lost and tens injured and hospitalised was not bad (saddening) enough, in your press statement you appeared to shrug it all off: "Some students and staff panicked and got injured ... situation is under control ... normal operations have resumed ... the university will cater for medical expenses for injuries incurred during the drill ... counselling will be provided for the affected ..."

Normal operations resumed for whom? Did you not see the trauma your students poured out on social media, the only "safe" space they could turn to in their hour of need? Are those the same people for whom normal operations had resumed. Will paying Esther Midemba's mortuary, funeral and burial costs bring her back to life because "normal operations have resumed"?

But you already washed your hands off this matter. To you it was a successful drill, and like any other successful drill, there was collateral damage -- nothing significant, just a negligible number; mere statistics. But let me remind you that one life lost during a drill is ONE TOO MANY. Thirty-one people injured to the point of hospitalisation are just too many. Thirty-two is not just a number. These are precious humans and the least you could give them in this time of pain, trauma and loss is some sensitivity, some empathy, some dignity.

You may be too proud to admit that things went awry (I mean tragic) but could you please be humble enough to be sensitive to Esther's memory (may her soul rest in peace). A little sensitivity even to the injured would go a long way, but it appears you are more interested in thumping your chest and asserting that all is well. Could you stop for a moment to empathise with the pain, the tears, the trauma, the loss of all those affected? Or are they just collateral damage in an otherwise very successful drill? Are they mere statistics, a negligible fraction of the Strathmore population? Or are they humans who matter and who got hurt in a process that was meant to be for their own good?

Remember they see you as the genesis of their pain, their trauma, their loss. Please, get an expert to help you with the messaging for crisis communication to avoid inflicting any more pain. One person traumatised is one too many. It'd be better for you to remain silent than for you to communicate apathy, indifference, nonchalance.

 The 31+1 who are visibly injured (one dead) are human and deserve dignity, please. And you can be sure there are many others invisibly (invisible to you) affected by the events of yesterday. We cannot undo the past, we can only learn from it. I know right now you are more focused on "intensive assessment of the key lessons learnt" so you can produce a report for the authorities. One more thing to check off your checklist before you put all this behind you and move on with your lives and repeat another drill some time in the future to test the "key lessons learnt" from previous drill. Spit, rinse, repeat.

But pause, take a few moments to reflect on the happenings of yesterday. You don't have to be quick to respond. Aside from learning that the Strathmore fraternity is or is not adequately prepared to respond to attacks, have you learnt anything about seeing your students and staff as more than just a number, as humans who deserve to be treated not with the terror you want to prepare them to respond to effectively, but with humanity and dignity? Strathmore is known for excellence, for going beyond the superficial to develop the whole (wo)man. Please, live up to the Strathmore we know. You can do better. Do better.

 PS - don't forget empathy. Empathy. Empathy. Thirty-two is not just a number.

Your eternal admirer

Solution to the education crisis finally found

Nakuru teachers protest on 7th September, 2015. Photo: Suleiman Mbatiah/Daily Nation

The government has finally found a lasting solution to the perennial teachers' strikes as it had promised to do at the tail end of a televised presidential address on Sunday.

Bogus News can now reveal that even as the president made his speech, there was a team working diligently behind the scenes to come up with the much-needed solution that would put an end to the recurrent yearly work boycotts by school instructors. The aim of the solution seekers committee, made up of representatives from the TSC, treasury, and a selection of well-paid,  high-ranking government officials, was to find a way to reduce the percentage of the public wage bill that goes to paying teachers salaries, rather than implementing the High Court ruling that determined teachers should get a pay rise of between 50 and 60 per cent.

One member of this special team who cannot be named for fear of being charged with "betraying the government's confidence", told this Bogus News reporter that the court ruling was not binding and that it was considered as a mere suggestion that could be ignored.

Leaked documents from that lengthy meeting, that lasted all day Sunday and spilled over into the wee hours of the night, eventually ending late afternoon Monday, show that after debating millions of possibilities, the committee members narrowed down to three possibilities, which all involve firing the entire current public teaching staff.

Cheap teachers from China

The government would import cheap Chinese teachers, preferably untrained, to replace the entire public teaching staff. On closer examination, this idea was quickly discarded because of the language barrier problems it would initially pose. The Chinese teachers would require English language training. The committee of solution seekers proposed that Chinese would then become the national language of instruction in line with the government's foreign policy of "facing East." It also emerged that with the Chinese official unemployment rate being only four per cent, the government might not get enough manpower from the Asian nation to fill up all the teaching vacancies.

Homeschooling

The other option that the committee of solution seekers considered, was closing all public schools for good and changing educational policies to require children to be taught at home. With Kenya's youth unemployment  rate of about 17 per cent according to World Bank figures, the government would table a bill in parliament to offer these unemployed youth unpaid "internships" to homeschool children in their neighbourhoods. The team suggested that most Kenyan youth would take up this offer, because they were desperate, they needed the work experience and needed something to keep them busy. Parents would be advised to offer the homeschool interns food during the time they spent teaching their kids. Youth in the NYS would also be required to take up teaching duties as homeschool teachers, in addition to unblocking sewers and cleaning up slums, but they would only get an additional Sh30 per week above the Sh471 daily rate that they currently enjoy. The government would also require that one parent in two-parent homes  resign, to focus on home schooling his/her children without pay. Opinion was divided on this idea and it did not arouse much excitement from most of the team.

"Really, teaching is all about dedication and passion, so money should not come in anywhere; it is a non-issue," the chairman of the solution seekers committee told our Bogus News reporter.

Contract teachers

The last idea which had the meeting room abuzz with excitement was to offer one-year, non-renewable contracts, to fresh graduates from teacher training colleges (TTC) and universities, as well as Standard Eight and Form Four dropouts, and just about anybody who was willing to take up the public teaching jobs. Graduate teachers, whether they had just an undergraduate degree, or a master's or even a PhD, and regardless of what position they held in the school, whether head of departments or head teachers, would be paid a flat-rate of Sh25, 000 with no allowances, benefits, perks or pension. TTC teachers would be paid a flat-rate of Sh18, 000, while the school dropouts would be paid anything between Sh5, 000 and 10, 000 without any allowances or pension. The good thing would be that only the teachers earning Sh25, 000 would be required to remit Sh5, 000 to KRA every month; the rest would enjoy tax-free, perk-free, allowance-free and pension-free salaries. At the end of the year, teachers would automatically lose their jobs and could only be considered for another contract job after a waiting period of at least two years.

"This is the most workable and lasting solution and I'm sure everyone, except the selfish and unpatriotic striking teachers and their union representatives, will be happy with it. When we implement this, we will not have to raise taxes, borrow for recurrent expenditure or cut our development budget. Above all, you can be sure that there will be never be another teachers' strike in Kenya," said the grinning chairman of the solution seekers committee, as seen and heard in a secret video recording that was sent to our newsroom by one of the committee members.

The committee members are expected to table the report to the head of state when he jets back into the country. However, they are still grappling with how they will fire the tens of thousands of teachers who are currently in public service without facing irritating wrongful dismissal lawsuits. However, a new committee of experts will be formed to address this niggling consequential matter, after which the official government parrot will be tasked with breaking the news to the country.

Keep it here for all the details as the story unfolds.

Man caught on camera with torn underwear? - Blame the wife!

Why is it that when a man has a wardrobe malfunction, his wife is blamed for it? Don't men have eyes and working brains to check that their clothes are in order, and to notice that there's something off about their clothes before wearing them?

I have read many profiles of professional women and they almost always disclose that they wake up very early in the morning to prepare their husbands for work, then their children for school and lastly themselves for work. It is understandable that a woman would wake up early to get her children ready for school, but her grown and able husband? What now? Is he an impaired two-year-old who can't do anything for himself? I find it particularly disturbing when women have to take the blame for their husbands' sloppiness and even go ahead to apologise publicly for it, as is common when a male public figure has a wardrobe malfunction in full glare of the cameras.

From left: Josephine Michuki, Ida Odinga and Susan Mboya-Kidero all took responsibility for the wardrobe malfunctions of their spouses.

I remember last year when Nairobi governor Evans Kidero was photographed wearing torn socks at the launch of a new spa in Westlands, Nairobi, the next day, his wife, Susan Mboya-Kidero, took full responsibility for her husband's wardrobe malfunction, explained that it had happened because her husband left the house before she could approve what he was wearing, apologised to Nairobians for her husband's wardrobe gaffe, and vowed that she would not allow it to happen again.

Kidero was photographed wearing a torn sock

Nairobi News reported that Dr Mboya-Kidero said, “As many Nairobians know, my husband leaves the house by 5.30 a.m. each day, sometimes before I see what he has worn,” she said.

“I am putting stricter measures in place to ensure that this unfortunate incident is never repeated,” she said.

Before then, 10 years ago (March 2005), Josephine Michuki also had to apologise publicly when her husband, John Michuki, who was the member of parliament for Kangema and the minister for environment, was photographed at a public event in torn socks.

Michuki's torn sock as photographed in 2005

Today, the Standard published a photo of CORD leader Raila Odinga wearing a "laughing" shoe and though the bulk of the comments are dissing him as a person, I have seen a few people asking where his wife Ida was, in that she allowed him to step out with such a worn out shoe. Soon after photos of her husband in a "laughing" shoe went viral on social media, Ida Odinga came out to defend her husband, saying that as a fashionista, she would never allow her husband to go out in torn shoes and that Raila's shoe only got damaged after he bumped into a stone at St John's Everlasting Gospel Church in Imara Daima, Nairobi.

Raila's shoe as captured by a photographer from the Standard

This brings me to the issue of personal responsibility because in all these cases, the men never came out to defend themselves or make excuses for their wardrobe malfunctions, they just let it slide and watched as their wives came out to defend them, and to what end? It doesn't help that the media is always too quick to run to the wives for comment following such wardrobe faux pas by their husbands. Through such actions, the media, as part of society also acts as an enabler that keeps men from taking responsibility. It also doesn't help that the said wives are always too quick to offer an explanation when approached by journalists; they are not obligated to indulge them in this buffoonery, but they do. That aside, let's pause for a minute and think about this, if the shoe (or sock if you please) was on the other foot and a female public figure was photographed in torn shoes or whatever, would her husband take responsibility for that?

So when will men learn to take responsibility for their own actions and choices? This lack of personal responsibility also manifests when men cheat on their wives. Women are expected to take the blame for that: it is because you didn't do ABCD that he cheated on you. Even at bridal showers we are taught that you must do this and that: be a whore in the bedroom, a master chef in the kitchen, the best homemaker and your man will never stray; never mind that there are women who do all these prescribed things and their men still cheat. You'll never hear anyone telling men to do one thing or another to keep their wives from straying. It is almost expected that a wife will never stray because that is an abomination, but if the man strays, oh well, men cheat, get used to it!

Women also let cheating men off the hook too easily when they decide to attack the "other" woman. Why did she seduce my husband? If that husband-snatcher had not tempted my hubby he would not have slept with her! But when will the man ever take responsibility for making the decision to cheat on his wife? Never, because the wife and society won't let him.

It's not just about wardrobe malfunctions and cheating, there are many other instances in which we (women and society as a whole) don't allow men to take responsibility for their actions. We treat men like brainless robots who cannot be  held responsible for anything they do. No matter what a man does, we will always find a way to blame ourselves, as their wives, or blame his wife, for actions that he choose to take himself.

This is the 21st century and we need to rethink the role of women. Women were made for greater things than just ensuring that a man doesn't have torn underwear socks or clothes; surely a grown man can do that for himself! If you come late from your drinking sprees, don't cause a ruckus claiming that your wife has to be the one coming to open the door for you and warm your food or even make it from scratch in the wee hours of the night. Don't expect your wife to wake up at 5am to heat your bath water and carry it to the bathroom as you snore away enjoying uninterrupted sleep; you have hands, you can do it yourself. Please, stop acting like zombies; you are better than that. If you have brains, hands, eyes and all other body organs, they are at your disposal for a reason, use them!

Lawmakers vow to increase their pay by 20 per cent

Photo: gadocartoons.com

Kenyan members of parliament have reacted with shock to the use of the word's 'pay' and 'cut' in the same sentence. Their reaction at an emergency press conference came after the president announced that he and the deputy president would be taking a 20 percent pay cut on their salaries, while cabinet secretaries would take a 10 percent pay cut. Ironically, the president announced this resolution after a retreat for top government officials in one of the most expensive hotels in the country. Nevertheless, a government parrot, who attended the retreat explained that taking a pay cut did not mean that the top dogs would quit extravagant and wasteful spending of public funds.

"Pay cuts or not, we have to live a life worthy of our stature in society," he offered.

The president has also directed parastatal chiefs to take a 20 per cent salary cut. This new directive prompted MPs to call an emergency parliamentary meeting, oddly attended by all MPs, during which it emerged that it was illegal for the president to vary his salary during one term. For that reason, a handful of lawmakers volunteered to challenge the president's pay cut in court. MPs also pledged to ensure that the word 'rise' is reinstated to its former position in any sentence with the word 'pay' in it, and vowed to increase their salaries to prove that parliament is an independent body, that is free from external influence.

                                                                                                -Additional reporting by Mugambi Mutegi

No one cares about your excuses

I was running late and there was nothing much I could do about it. I could not get a convenient ride from dial-a-chopper to get me where I needed to be on time nor could I  run in record time to get there. All I could do was pray for the best.

I had scheduled two interviews hours and miles apart, knowing there was ample time in between to get to each without much of a fuss. However, as with many other best laid plans, mine came apart. I got delayed for the first interview, eating into my travel time for the second interview. I had to rush through the first so that I could barely make it, huffing and puffing into the second. It was at a place I wasn't too familiar with and I looked like a mad woman running from one block to the other asking the askaris I found for directions without really stopping to get them right. Eventually, I gobbled up the stairs to the first floor where our meeting was to take place and almost missed my host as she was walking out of her office. I was already in quite a state: not the picture one is supposed to present of herself for first impressions and especially not for a meeting with a lady boss whom you needed to remember you in good light: My face was moist with sweat, shoes dusty, and I out of breath. But I managed to mouth my introductions and to beg that she give me a few minutes of her time.

As I blurted out my excuses, she gave me a once over and sternly replied:

"Nobody cares about your excuses."

And then she went ahead to explain that she had other things on her schedule that she couldn't delay for my sake. I had had my slot on her to-do list but I wasted it. That wasn't her problem. Previously, I was used to people taking my excuses for lateness kindly and indulging me, after all were we not all African's with only a sense of African time? But this lady's remarks cut me, and she was right. After that lifetime lesson/ lecture, she gave me a warm welcoming smile. She only had 10 minutes to spare, would that be enough? I mouthed a quick yes and we went ahead to have a brief interview that went well and gleaned all of what I needed. She walked into her next meeting without huffing and puffing and I left her office with a lesson that I'll never forget: Nobody cares about your excuses. Nobody cares about your good intentions; what they want is to see the work done. Whenever, I want to make excuses for myself or anyone else, I remember that nobody cares about my excuses and I do what I need to do. I thought about this just before the recent anniversary of my birth. I looked at my life and the excuses I had given myself this past year, the fears I had given in to, the risks I had failed to take and the things I was yet to do and I remembered that nobody cares about my excuses, all they want is to see things happening. So I'm toasting to a more adventurous year where I take more risks. So help me God.

And here are the quotes I keep around my neck to remind me not to give any excuses:

• For many have but one resource to sustain them in their misery, and that is to think, “Circumstances have been against me, I was worthy to be something much better than I have been. I admit I have never had a great love or a great friendship; but that is because I never met a man or a woman who were worthy of it; if I have not written any very good books, it is because I had not the leisure to do so; or, if I have had no children to whom I could devote myself it is because I did not find the man I could have lived with. So there remains within me a wide range of abilities, inclinations and potentialities, unused but perfectly viable, which endow me with a worthiness that could never be inferred from the mere history of my actions.” But in reality and for the existentialist, there is no love apart from the deeds of love; no potentiality of love other than that which is manifested in loving; there is no genius other than that which is expressed in works of art. - Jean-Paul Satre

• I attribute my success to this - I never gave or took any excuse. - Florence Nightingale

• The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can't achieve it. - Jordan Belfort

• At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, no regrets. - Steve Maraboli

• He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else. - Benjamin Franklin

• Never make excuses. Your friends don't need them and your foes won't believe them. - John Wooden

• Do not make excuses, whether it's your fault or not. - George S Patton Jr

• The search for a scapegoat is the easiest of all hunting expeditions. - Dwight Eisenhower

• It's easy to blame traffic jam when you're late and in a hurry. - Toba Beta