Return of the ex

The persistent knock on the door had gone on for almost an hour, putting to bed my attempts to sleep in and sleep off the stresses and exhaustion of the past week. I rubbed my eyes, opened them to the dim light of early Saturday morning, then fumbled around the bed for my phone, and finding it, checked the time. It was barely 7.

The knocking continued unabated. I couldn't ignore it any longer.



Photo: Rolf meme from the Internets

"It must be really important," I thought to myself and grabbed a dressing gown and leso as I shuffled to my front door.

I didn't recognise the woman standing outside my door, but I suspected, with great irritation, that she was looking for a laundry job. "Hunikumbuki ...?" She implored, startling me out of my stupor. I shook my head. "Nilikuwa nakufulia manguo..." "Hmmm..." "Halafu nikaenda ushago nilikuwa na shida kidogo huko. Nimekuwa nikikuangalia lakini hukukuwa ..." "Eeeh." "Nataka kukufulia manguo ..."

Jeez! I thought to myself and swallowed a lump, how do you wake me up this early, without prior notice, to wash my clothes?

"Sina nguo za kufuliwa, na nilishapata mtu wa kunifulia nguo," I answered. Then a wave of empathy washed over me and I stood there listening to her tales which eventually reignited my memory.





Photo: Pexels.com
I remembered how rude her husband had been the last time I called to ask if she could come do my laundry (the number she had given me was always picked by the husband), then I took her number and promised to call her some day. And with that, she left to look for another client.
As I made my way back to the bedroom, my sleep long vanished, I thought to myself: didn't she know I had already moved on? Was I supposed to be waiting for her to come back to my laundry till now? Did she not realise that once I move on, I never look back?

Part 2 coming soon.

Life after trauma: The suspicious carjacker

Last night I left work late and made my way to the bus stop with a friend.


We got into a bus that was filling up fast, but finding no joint vacant seats, our plans to seat together were foiled. I sat at the rear of the bus, in the second-last seat, next to a slender guy in a charcoal-gray shirt and gray pinstripe pants with a swelling at the crotch.


The jovial men on the back seat were chatting animatedly, and deciding that they didn’t “look suspicious”, I turned to the pair of seats on my right. On the aisle seat was a petite girl, while the window seat was filled by a heavy, pot-bellied man. They exchanged knowing glances furtively, looking forward to the night ahead.


Satisfied that they also didn’t “look suspicious” I relaxed some more and sunk back into my seat. The bus had tinted windows and a luggage carrier above the seats that made it too dark for my liking, but the blue light from a long, thin bulb on the right side of the bus offered some comfort. But not enough to forget the guy in the seat beside me.


I trained my eyes on my seatmate. He was breathing suspiciously. Short, fast breaths, as if his heart was racing with excitement and his veins flowing with a rush of adrenaline fueled by what he was about to do. He formed a mean, angry scowl that forecast ill-intent. Was he angry at the world and itching to avenge himself for all the ways it had failed him? His eyes darted back and forth and in and out of the bus.


I was overcome with a sense of foreboding, and it didn’t help that the bus was hurtling down the clear road, as if on steroids. I suspected that it was fueled by the muzzle of a gun sticking into the driver’s side, held by the man sitting next to him in the cabin – my seatmate’s accomplice.


Resigned to my fate, I wished that I had carried pepper spray. Then I decided that whatever my seatmate was up to, he would not catch me unawares. I would stare at him brazenly, taking in his entire being and imprinting his photograph in the fore of my mind. I wanted him to know that I knew what he was up to. My eyes followed his every move. I watched him clench and unclench his fidgety hands, noticed when he clasped and unclasped them, and took in the folding and unfolding. Then he slid his right hand down and reached into his pocket.


Was this it?


I watched intently as he drew out a thin, dark object.


It was a phone! A mulika mwizi with a neon green backlight.


I sighed.


He looked at the screen and typed something on the keypad.


Now, this must be it. It was time and he was sending a signal to his accomplices.


My friend alighted.


I was tempted to alight with her and take a taxi home, but I wasn’t sure I would get one … and the price would probably be inflated. I thought of moving seats. Moving to the empty seat that my friend had just vacated, but as I toyed with my thoughts, someone else sunk into it. I was stuck.


The bus was still hurtling down the road suspiciously. We flew past two black spots and then a police road block. Maybe there was nothing there. Maybe I was just being paranoid.


I wanted to fish out my phone, to send a message to the world that I was scared. But that might work against me. It was best not to use it. I remembered the valuables in my bag and tried to figure out how I would hide them.


I thought about how my seatmate would brandish a gun and ask for my bag. How I would hesitate to buy time, enough time to hide my treasures. But where would I hide them? Maybe I could talk some sense into him ...


If anything happened, this guy would kill me. I had studied him too closely, so blatantly. I imagined him sinking a knife into my neck; the blood gushing out as I reached for his neck to strangle him in return.


I had nowhere to hide. A wistful smile formed on my lips. I should have alighted when I first noticed he was suspicious. I should have alighted with my friend. I should have taken a cab home. But here I was. Maybe I was being paranoid, but who could blame me?


Suddenly he moved. I made way for him to pass.


Was this it? Was he finally taking position before he struck?


I watched as he made his way to the front of the bus. I was ready. I had been waiting for this moment all night.


The bus stopped.


He alighted, throwing me off with this twist in the tale.


As the bus swung back onto the road, I looked at my (former) seatmate one last time, glad that he was now outside. He still had that mean scowl on his face, angry at the world and full of ill-intent.


It didn’t matter anymore. I was home and my imaginary carjacker was gone.

What you need to know about WhatsApp import groups

By MJC

If you have been on Facebook for a while, you may have noticed an influx of WhatsApp import groups. These groups are formed to get many people together to import few pieces of merchandise each collectively, so as to attain minimum order quantity (MOQ). Coming together to import goods in this manner has helped a lot of people who are starting out with little capital, and who can’t meet the MOQ by themselves.

However, having been a member of many such groups, there are a few negative aspects I have noted as explained below: 

1. The buying price and/or shipping charges might be slightly or grossly inflated. The founders/admins of these groups are more often than not, doing it to make money. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but most act like they are doing it from the goodness of their heart, when in fact they are there to make money out of it. They make money by slightly or grossly inflating the buying price as well as the shipping charges. Not forgetting pesa ya kutoa that you will add as you send the money via Mpesa.

2. Quality is not guaranteed. Most of the admins of these groups do not first get samples of the items to check quality. So sometimes you will get very poor quality items and you the member, will just have to take the loss –  a huge one if you dared make a large order.

3. There might be no compensation for items lost before they get to you. If an item is lost whether at the point of being packed by the supplier, in transit or at arrival shauri yako! There may be no compensation for you. And if compensated it either takes a long time to get the compensation or you are compensated with something totally different from what you wanted.

4. Dishonesty. Like I said most people who come up with these groups (the admins) are there to make money, which they won't tell you. The intense kind of work that's needed when putting together these group orders simply cannot be done for free. You will pay for it in one way or another. Some will combine different shipments and charge the group for the whole shipment yet the group’s merchandise was only a part of the shipment. Some will use the money you pay them for something else and then pay for your items much later. This means your items will arrive months late because the money for your items was diverted to other things. Which is not so bad if you are buying for personal consumption, but detrimental if you are buying for business because by the time you get your items, the market will likely be saturated with the “unique” item that your WhatsApp group ordered.

5. Poor customer service. In some groups you will be treated very poorly. If you question anything you feel is off you will be berated, sometimes even insulted. Some admins don't even answer your questions within the group or if you contact them directly.

6. Con men. There are a few con men and women who have managed to swindle people out of their money using these import groups. I have seen it in two groups.

7. Undisclosed storage fees. Some of the admins  of the import groups don't have shops in town (Nairobi CBD) which means they have to store items in other people's shops who then charge you daily storage fees. The longer you take to pick your items, the higher the storage fee you pay. So, if you take several days to pick your consignment you may end up having paid retail prices for the items after including storage fees in the mark-up, which means you can’t sell your items at a competitive price. Often you are given a day or two to pick your items before storage charges start to apply, but in some cases, the charges apply from the first day.

8. Herd mentality that makes you buy worthless or hard-to-sell products. It's normal human behaviour to gravitate towards things that seem to be popular. But take your time to actually research about that popular product, check if there is a market for it before you order several pieces that you will be stuck with.

 I did encounter a group where the admin was very honest, was kind enough to teach us the process of importing for ourselves, did not inflate prices, made sure everyone got their order,  so there is still hope you may yet find a group that's a good fit. (Unfortunately she quit group orders after a couple of times. I told you the work involved is too intense to be free).

In conclusion, WhatsApp import groups can be of great help, but you have to go in with your eyes wide open. Be ready for all the things I've listed.

• Demand for accountability and better customer care because contrary to what the admins of these groups want you to believe, it is a business and you are their customer.
• Research and know the wholesale prices for the items you want. This is easy especially if you are importing from China. Go to Alibaba and contact a few suppliers and they will give you quotations that you can use to compare with what your WhatsApp import group admin is offering.

Diary of a retrenched woman

"Are you happy?" I asked myself.

"I know I'm not sad, but what is happiness?" I answered pensively.

Happiness is a feeling of contentment, resilience (knowing that you can bounce back), hope and optimism, came the answer from deep in the bowels of my heart.

With this in mind, I was no longer unsure about my happiness or lack thereof.

"Yes, I am happy!" I beamed.

And this is my mantra for 2017. 

Last year's mantra was: 

"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." ~ Christopher Morley 

And I'm keeping it close this year because it still rings true and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.


Photo | Pixabay

Being fired/retrenched doesn't define me. 

I have always been a hardworking and passionate employee. My work ethic is admirable. I have always done my best and given my all in everything I do. Everything I do is well-thought-out and that won't change because I was fired. It is who I am and I can't do less. 

Being retrenched/jobless doesn't define me. My work appraisals have always been in the very good to excellent category. That won't change just because I'm jobless at the moment. Being kicked out of work doesn't mean I have nothing to offer; in fact, it has opened my eyes to the many things I actually have to offer, things that I couldn't quite see before when my eyes were stuck on my job, and they are much more than I can count. As one of my friends reminded me, the world is my oyster and I have so many options to choose from. 

I am not as young as I used to be, but there is a decade or two before I get to the official retirement age of 60, and slow down to enjoy the fruits of my lifelong labour, so I'm not old either. Obviously, I can't stay idle for decades, unless I choose to remain idle, so I'll find something useful to do. I just pray for humility because pride can be a major impediment to progress. 

I hope to remember to shut out any whispers from people who say all sorts of unsupportive/unhelpful things which can either take my eyes off the goal or bring me down completely. I pray for humility, strength and courage to get in the trenches and do the dirty work even though people laugh and say that what I'm doing is beneath what a "person of my stature" should be doing. I really do pray for humility because it is one of the first stepping stones of success, whatever I define it to be. 

Obviously being jobless changes a lot of things. Some relationships dissipate because the only thing that was holding you together (work) is gone. 

I remember Bitange Ndemo talking about the loneliness that followed the end of his stint as a Permanent Secretary. A phone that was always ringing off the hook, now remained silent for days on end. People no longer had reason to call him. 

I understand that a lot of things might change, but as my friend Lillian keeps telling me, don't take it personally. I'm listening, so no matter what happens or changes for the worse or the better, I won't take it personally. I'm not taking the job loss personally, and I won't take all the things that happened before this and those that will happen after this personally. 

The initial shock has worn off. My family and friends have been very helpful and supportive offline and online, and so has been my doctor, a psychiatrist, (whom I can no longer afford). They have helped me keep things in perspective and offered very useful advice in the midst of the initial confusion. I see a very bright future ahead, and I'm glad that I have so many things to do despite the fact that I am not going to anyone's formal office anymore.

27th January.

Father’s Day: Financial tips for dads

On the third Sunday of June every year, the world stands to applaud the important role that fathers play in their children’s lives. Fatherhood comes with joys, smiles, stern warnings and discipline as well as responsibilities in form of a child who will determine a man’s financial choices, beyond himself, as long as both the child and the dad have breath.

Here are some ten tips to help you navigate those daddy financial decisions:

  Be a good money model for your children: Home is the place where children learn about money, form attitudes about it and learn how to manage it, all from observing their parents. Most of us don’t get taught about money in school, yet we inadvertently become our children’s first teachers as far as far as money is concerned. Money management is a very important life skill, because we deal with money every single day of our lives, so as we teach our children how to navigate life, we should not forget to equip them with the right money management skills. If you want to empower your children financially, start by empowering yourself with the right knowledge that you can then pass on to your children. You can learn this from the internet, YouTube, taking classes, etc. Don’t let your children fumble in the dark and take that fumbling into adulthood, start teaching them the right things about money as early as possible to give them a head start.

It is not just about you:Men love themselves above everything and everyone else. For this reason, they prioritise their financial needs and wants over everybody else’s. That is a good thing – we ought to love and take care of ourselves first before we can do the same to others, even our loved ones. But at the same time, there needs to be a balance. As you take care of yourself, remember that you have a family. Today, we are focusing on fatherhood, so remember you have children and they have needs. As you allocate money to your needs and wants, don’t forget to do the same for your children, who rely on you for sustenance.

Your children are your responsibility, take care of them:  When the children come, whether you are married to their mother or not, you do not need a court to remind you that you have children you’re your DNA and your blood flowing down their veins and that these children have needs and that those needs require money to take care of. Whether you feel you as if you don’t have enough money to take care of your children, you don’t have the luxury to decide whether or not to take care of your children. Once the children have come into this earth, and as long as both you and they have breath, you need to constantly ask yourself, have my children eaten? Have they gone to school? Are they wearing clothes? Do they have a roof over their heads? Am I doing my part and my best to provide for my children regardless of my relationship with their mother? You should. 

Plan ahead; have financial goals – short-term, medium term and long-term – not just for yourself, but for your children too. What financial needs will your children have at every stage of their lives? Start planning for these costs and saving and investing for both major and minor inevitable financial goals, so that you will be able to take financial responsibility once the bills come due. Do not leave it until the last minute, where you might struggle with the temptation to let the children’s mother “handle it”. 

Your presence is more important than presents: You cannot buy your children’s love. Your children may not remember what you bought them, but they will remember how you made them feel. So, create warm memories with your children – sometimes this involves spending money, for instance taking them on vacation, but sometimes the most memorable moments have nothing to do with expensive toys, lunches or trips to amusement parks. Playing and running around with them, reading them a book or doodling with them might be the best thing you can do for them, that money can’t buy. Let your children know that money and things, though they may make some things in life easier, are not a prerequisite for happiness. 

Make sure you have health insurance for yourself and the kids. At the very least get your family on NHIF which now covers both in- and out-patient care. Medical bills can drain your finances, making it difficult to save and achieve other important financial goals. 

 Build an emergency fund with three to six months’ worth of living expenses saved up to cover you in case of an emergency that threatens to wipe out your resources, and undermines your ability to take care of yourself, your family and your children.

You might want to get life insurance which would help cater for your dependents’ needs if you died or got disabled before they are old enough to take care of themselves. Or at least have a contingency plan in the event that you were no longer able or available to take care of your children. If your death or incapacitation would throw your children into destitution, find ways to to mitigate this “worst-case-scenario.”

 Plan for retirement. Your children are not a guaranteed retirement plan, so don’t act as if they are. Have your own plan for financial survival once you get too old to actively earn a living; you need to be able to survive in the event that your children and everyone else abandons you. If your children choose to support you financially during your twilight years, it will be a bonus.

Remember you are not the Red Cross. Other people may have plans for your money, but put your needs and those of your family first. Don’t become the sacrificial lamb who takes on financial burdens of people who refuse to become financially responsible. Do not sacrifice your family at the altar of misplaced generosity.

Happy Father's Day!

 This post is brought to you by #SaveWithMshwari for the #52WeekChallenge

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Money mistakes beginners make in business and in life

photo | pexels.com

By Steve Umeme

Financial discipline is fundamental for any individual and business, yet it can be as challenging as it is rewarding. Read these money mistakes that rookies make that we should all avoid.

#Money Mistake 1:
Never borrow money that accrues interest to start a business (except if you are paying for it through your salary); only borrow to grow your business. This is because business takes a long time to gain ground and begin making profit, yet most loans repayments have to be made within a month of taking the loan or even earlier. Therefore, never borrow money to start a business expecting that the business will generate income to pay back the borrowed money plus the interest.

#Money Mistake 2:
Never spend money you haven't received. Don't even promise someone money based on a promise you have from someone else. If someone tells you: "Ezra, come to my office tomorrow at 9am and pick Sh30K"don't go out to buy items on credit based on this promise, with the hope that you will pay off your creditor when the promised money comes; it may not come as promised and this will leave you in problems with your creditors.

#Money Mistakes 3:
If you want to save, whenever you receive money, don’t start spending hoping that you’ll save what remains. Normally what remains is zero because as long as money to spend is available, the numerous things you can spend it on are also available. And things to spend on even incite their 'relatives' so that you spend even more than you had planned. When money to spend is not available, we naturally find a way of doing without it. That's why I've learnt to save with an INVESTMENT CLUB. Once I send money there I assume I no longer have it. Before you spend any money, put your savings aside then spend what is left after saving.

#Money Mistake 4:
When you get an opportunity to meet a very wealthy person, never ask for money. Ask for ideas on how to make money. They may even choose to give you money on their own after seeing that your ideas are great, but let getting money from them never be your objective.

#Money Mistake 5:
Keeping your seed instead of planting it. Many people stop at saving. It's very, very difficult to save and have all you need to maintain your lifestyle especially after retirement. When you save, your savings are seed; plant it. When you just keep the seed (saving money) some seeds begin to die (eaten by inflation and the like). That's why I recommend that you read about the different types of investment vehicles you can use to grow your savings. I am not necessarily talking about putting the money in a business, because you can easily lose money in  business. I am talking about putting it in an investment.

#Money Mistake 6:
Never lend someone money you are not willing to lose. By the time you lend someone money, be contented in your heart that should the person fail to pay, you will not die. You should not even lose that person's friendship if they fail to repay the money you lent them. If you feel the person might fail to pay you and this will not affect your relationship with them, then lend them money. If their failure to pay would make you hate this person’s entire clan, please advise the person to go to the bank.

#Money Mistake 7:
Never append your signature to guarantee someone on a financial matter if you are not willing or able to pay the money on their behalf. Do I have to explain that one? No, it's self-explanatory.

#Money Mistake 8:
Avoid keeping money you don't intend to use in the short-term within easy reach. For instance, don’t walk with Sh100K in your pocket when all you plan to do in a day costs Sh20K. Like I mentioned in Money Mistake 3, there are always expenses available to gobble any money that is within reach, so if you don't want to lose it, put it away in a safe place.

#Money Mistake 9:
Avoid keeping money in inappropriate places e.g. in socks, under the pillow, in a pit, in the sitting room, in the bra, in a travel bag that you will place somewhere in a bus ... impulse buying is a devil that will keep you busy!

#Money Mistake 10:
Spending money on an item that you can do without (at least for the time being). These days when I pick money from my pocket or wallet, before paying for something I ask myself: What would happen if I didn’t buy this? If I find I can live with the consequences of not having that thing, I smile and walk away.

#Money Mistake 11:
Paying an amount for something that's not the minimum you can get that same value for. In other words, if you are along Tom Mboya Street and you pay Sh5K for a shoe that you can get at Sh3K at Muthurwa, that's a money mistake except for those who have achieved financial freedom.

#Money Mistake 12:
Wanting to be the savior of the world by helping everyone in financial need. My sister, my brother,  you are not Jesus. If you find it so hard to say no to a financial demand, you may think you are practising generosity when in actual sense you are committing (financial) suicide. We are not learning to be miserable here; we are learning to live within the boundaries of reality.

#Money Mistake 13:
Consistently spending all you earn or more than you earn. It's like having a drum where you have an inlet that's smaller than the outlet. It will never get full. And should the inlet ever reduce significantly the drum will run dry. If you do it the other way round and the inlet is bigger, it will get full and even overflow. Hence, we have to always ensure we are widening the inlet while narrowing the outlet – all the time. Your side hustle comes in handy!

#Money Mistake 14:
Thinking about short-term only and forgetting about long-term or thinking about the long-term and forgetting about the short-term. For instance, Lydia was told that there's money in land. She saved money over a long period of time and bought 30 acres of land. Now she has the land but she is always broke. She is always complaining. She's disgruntled and she doesn't seem to see herself earning from the land in the near future. Now, let's ask ourselves: Having 30 acres of land and no money to feed your family or take a child to hospital, is that wealth or poverty? I think Lydia only looked at long-term needs and forgot that she has short-term needs that require money. What of those who find they are one paycheck away from salary? Are they thinking about the long-term needs?

Let’s take stock of our finances. How many mistakes are you guilty of? Do you now feel better-equipped to do better with these tips? Good luck, savers! Share this knowledge with your friends because it will not benefit you if you are selfish with it.

Steve Umeme, BBA, CPAK, CFIP, is a seasoned auditor, risk analyst and personal finance coach. He blogs at http://steveumeme.blogspot.co.ke/

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Mother’s Day: Ten gentle reminders for financially-savvy mums

Motherhood brings with it many changes in body, mind and the way we make decisions, including financial choices. For new mothers especially, it is easy to get lost in the idea of motherhood and to miss out on some financial choices that need to be made differently when children get into the picture.

Here are some ten tips to get your mummy financial chips in place:

1.   Be deliberate about your finances. When the children come, they come with additional expenses, which if not budgeted for, can leave one feeling like there is never enough money. Mums seem to have a superpower of making the most out of limited money, but that can only hapen if you know your priorities and plan to ensure that your income covers the most important things. This will mean budgeting, keeping an eye on your expenses, saving, investing and using money-saving tips such as buying groceries in bulk at a wholesale shop instead of a supermarket.
2.    Plan ahead; have financial goals – short-term, medium term and long-term. Once the children come, they will need to be included in your budgets and financial plans. When your child is still an infant, start planning for their kindergarten costs and all their educational needs from primary school to college, gradually. If you start saving for these major and inevitable financial goals early, you will find it easier to foot the bills once they come up, so don’t leave them until the last minute.
3. Don’t forget yourself. Many mums find themselves putting everyone else first at their own expense. You are also a valuable human who deserves your own attention, so take care of yourself. Don’t let go of your own personal financial goals. Remember to invest in yourself, in your career, in your dreams. Don’t walk around in tatters having forgotten to replace your worn-out wardrobe and don’t forget to give yourself a treat every so often for the great job you are doing taking care of your children and family.
4. Don’t try to buy your children’s love. Help your children create memories – sometimes this involves spending money, for instance taking them on vacation, but sometimes the most memorable moments have nothing to do with expensive toys, lunches or trips to amusement parks. Playing and running around with them, reading them a book or doodling with them might be the best thing you can do for them, that money can’t buy. Let your children know that money and things, though they may make some things in life easier, are not a prerequisite for happiness.
5. Make sure you have health insurance for yourself and the kids. At the very least get your family on NHIF which now covers both in- and out-patient care. Medical bills can drain your finances, making it difficult to save and achieve other important financial goals.
6. Build an emergency fund with three to six months’ worth of living expenses saved up to cover you in case of an emergency that threatens to wipe out your resources.
7. You might want to get life insurance which would help cater for your dependents’ needs if you died or got disabled before they are old enough to take care of themselves. Or at least have a contingency plan in the event that you were no longer able or available to take care of your children.
8.  Plan for retirement. Your children are not a guaranteed retirement plan, so don’t act as if they are. Have your own plan for financial survival once you get too old to actively earn a living; you need to be able to survive in the event that your children and everyone else abandons you. If your children choose to support you financially during your twilight years, it will be a bonus.
9. Remember you are not the Red Cross. Other people may have plans for your money, but put your needs and those of your family first. Don’t become the sacrificial lamb who takes on financial burdens of people who refuse to become financially responsible. Do not sacrifice your family at the altar of misplaced generosity.
10.  It’s good to have a husband or sponsor who caters to all your financial whims and then some, but learn and know how to take care of your financial wellbeing, with or without a husband. Life, or rather death happens; divorce too, so you need to know how to live well by yourself, whether it happens or not.

Happy Mother's Day!

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