Don't let Easter festivities throw you into a financial fix

Happy Easter! 

 Today evening marks the beginning of a long weekend and there are all sorts of enticing activities lined up to celebrate the Easter holiday. Celebration is good, but you need to be conscious such that you don’t spend all your money in one weekend, leaving you with no money to pay the living expenses that come after Easter and forcing you to take a loan thereafter to survive. Use this checklist to ensure that the four-day Easter weekend doesn’t get you into a financial fix:

 1. Make sure your pending essential April expenses are handled.
How much money do you have left to cater for your living expenses in the remaining 17 days of April and up until you get your next pay-check? Do a mini budget of the cash in hand versus the pending April expenses such as:

·         Food and groceries electricity tokens

·         water, gas/charcoal/kerosene/cooking fuel

·         mobile phone airtime

·         internet bundles

·         TV subscription

·         fare/fuel, car maintenance

·         Lunch at work

·         child expenses/daycare

·         laundry/cleaning lady

·         allowance to parents/siblings/relatives/friends

·         birthday/wedding/baby shower/bridal shower/occasion gifts

·         Donations to the needy

·         Church offering and donations

·         Toiletries/cosmetics

·         Haircare and beauty for you and the kids

·         Clothes/shoes/accessories

·         Doctor’s appointment/medical bill

·         Movies/events/fun activities/entertainment

·         Due debts

·         Standing orders

·         Chama contribution

2. Do you really have money to go on holiday?

 If after taking your pending April expenses versus the cash in hand you have a surplus, then you can decide to treat yourself and your family for the holiday within a budget that takes into account the amount of money you have to play with.

3. What's the plan?

Think about what you want to do this long weekend. Do you want to travel to the village? Do you want to take your family out for lunch and entertainment? Do you want to go on a getaway to Naivasha or Mombasa? Do you want to go for nyama choma, drinks and dancing with your friends? Do you want to host guests at your home? Decide what you want to do, then go to the next step.

4. Make an Easter budget that fits the cash you can spare for fun.

Make an Easter budget based on what you want to do, then check if the money available to spend on Easter is sufficient to cater for your costs for your selected activity. For example, if you want to go to the village, your Easter budget might include car fuel or fare to and fro, shopping for your parents, some money to spend with family and friends at the local village pub, some money to buy beer for the village idlers who think you are very rich, some money for emergencies, etc. If your plan is to go drinking and dancing from Thursday evening to Sunday evening, you’ll need to budget for fare/fuel/taxi, drinks for yourself and other people if you plan on throwing rounds or buying random drinks for men and women you find in the club, water, snacks, etc. Once you break down your costs and do a total ask yourself if you can really afford your chosen Easter activity. If for example your plan is to go to the village and you only have Sh5, 000 to spend on Easter (from step 1) and your Easter budget comes to Sh30, 000, you either have to cut down or cut out some expenses or decide to choose a different activity that costs Sh5, 000 at most, instead of Sh30, 000 you really don't have.

5. Don't get it twisted!

Do not use money meant for essential bills to celebrate Easter. If there is no Easter money, then there is no Easter money. You will not die for not having money to splurge on Easter.

6. Keep yourself and your spending in check.

Write down every expense that you plan to incur this long weekend and allocate an amount of money next to each expense. Carry the list with you and use it to monitor your spending to ensure that you don't go over budget. Review that list every morning and in the evening to track your spending. Before you head out, have a clear itinerary of what you will do and how much it will cost and ensure that you carry money just for that. If you happen to go over budget, you will have to strike out some things to accommodate the ones that are more important. If you've set Sh20, 000 for Easter weekend expenses, do not go over that. Do not give yourself a blank cheque to spend money without restraint. You do not want to look back on Tuesday morning with regret over your poor spending choices for a momentary holiday.

7. Keep costs manageable if you are hosting guests at home.

 If you are hosting guests to a party at your house, do a hosting budget based on how much you can afford to spend on the holiday. You can also have a potluck, where instead of shouldering the entire hosting financial burden by yourself, you can ask the guests to come with a meal and drinks then form a buffet of all the meals and drinks the guests carry with them.

8. Do you need new stuff for Easter?

 If you are going on a getaway this long weekend avoid the temptation to buy new things just for the holiday. Do you really need a new swimming costume for this Easter weekend when you already have one in your wardrobe? Before you buy something new specifically for Easter, ask yourself, do I need it or am I just buying it for a four-day affair? Will I ever use it again? Can I even afford it right now?

9. Lead yourself not into temptation.

When you set aside money for the remaining 17 days of April e.g. fare money, food money, etc, put it in a different account and don't carry your ATM card as you head out to celebrate Easter to avoid the temptation to withdraw it and use it on long weekend expenses. You can carry some money for emergencies, but remember that it should only be used for emergencies, which are unexpected situations which must be dealt with immediately because they cannot be ignored. For my emergencies, I usually have a debit card with money in it. The card is not linked to a bank account. Think Nakumatt Global or Nation Hela. The good thing about this card is that you can transfer the money from the card to Mpesa if you need it for an emergency. The card is strictly labeled emergencies only (my label) so if I ever take it out, I ask myself, is what I am about to pay for with this card an emergency? If the answer is no, I put the card away. You can even give it to your sober and firm relative to keep for you with strict instructions that it can only be released to take care of emergencies.

10. You can have fun on a budget.

Remember to be conscious of your choices and your spending. Stick to your long weekend budget. You don’t need to take a loan to celebrate Easter and you don’t need loads of money to have fun. You can go to the market, make yourself or family a special meal, and then watch a feel-good movie together or take a photo at a studio or go to the local park and run and play around. 

Happy Easter!


This post is brought to you by #SaveWithMshwari for the #52WeekChallenge
 
Join the 52-week Savings Challenge Kenya and network with people who are saving to reach their financial goals

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Depression diaries: The thing that is eating me

"Mental illness is not a brand that you wear. It doesn’t scar you (unless you self-harm, of course, in which case you, like I, have carefully hidden the evidence). It isn’t visible, it isn’t something you can easily spot. Partly because when I’m really, really ill, I won’t be there for you to see.” – Joely Black

Photo | Pixabay.com

When I came across this piece by Joely Black on Medium, that articulates what it’s like to have depression so well, I remembered my own account, which I had put down in an outburst one morning when I was starting to feel better, and a trigger jolted me to put down the multitude of thoughts about suffering from depression, that I now suddenly had energy to articulate. I wrote and wrote a note on my phone, until my mind was empty, then I saved it and made a note to return to it later when I got another burst of inspiration, enough to divide it into sections and put it up on my blog in a series of posts.

That was never to be: A thief stole my phone and with it my story. I never did get another urge to articulate what it’s like to be depressed until yesterday. I have the momentum now, but the story will come much later, when it is ready.

The first thing you learn when you get depressed is that nobody understands what you are going through and because of their ignorance, and in a bid to help, they make recommendations about what you should do to be "un-depressed." The most common is: It’s all in your mind. Just think positive thoughts and you’ll be okay.” I’ll tell you for free that when you are depressed, no amount of positive thinking will make you feel better. You can spend a full 24 hours trying to think positive thoughts and proclaiming positive affirmations, but they’ll do nothing for you.

 Here are some other things that people tell you when you have depression that won’t help:

Things not to tell a person with depression or other mental illnesses (with the help of Joely's article):
 

Photo | pixabay.com

1. “Have you tried meditation? You totally should! It works like magic!”

2. “You need to take [insert vitamin] and [insert supplement]. They’re great for depression.”

3. “Exercise is great for mental health. I run every day and I feel fantastic. You should try it”

4. “When I feel a bit down, I do yoga. Do yoga and you'll be fine.”

5. "It's all in your mind. Just snap out of it. Just think positive thoughts and you'll be okay."

6. "What you need is to read the Bible and pray and maybe go for exorcism and you'll be fine. These things are spiritual ..."

Again I’ll tell you for free that I pumped my body with vitamins; in the early days I tried to exercise, before chronic fatigue got the better of me. I tried to meditate, I went to church, went for counselling and prayers ... I tried positive thoughts, I tried everything I could to feel better, that is everything except yoga, but I didn’t.

 I was in constant despair. I was continually exhausted. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t think. I couldn’t talk. I didn’t even want to. Not even to listen to someone talking -- it was all very exhausting. I just wanted to sleep it all away, to have a blackout that would take away the pain that I felt inside. I was numb. Keeping my head above the water every day was a constant struggle. I was drowning. And I only started out on the right path when I had a breakdown one morning that saw me admitted to hospital for a few days. There, I finally got introduced to the one thing that would work, the one thing that would drive the depression away: treatment.

A lot of people don’t understand that depression is an illness. I didn’t understand that too, or rather, I fought that thought. Surely, doing all those things that people recommended would make me better, not so? I was just feeling down, so if I did all the right things, the clouds would be lifted and I would feel better, right? How wrong I (and every other well-meaning person) was!

Depression is an illness just like malaria and it cannot be wished away. You can’t wave a magic wand on depression and boom, it goes away. If someone told you they had malaria, you wouldn’t say to them, “just take a multivitamin, think positive and exercise and you’ll be healed.” Instead, you’d tell them to go to hospital and adhere to the treatment and the doctor’s direction. Then and only then, would you prescribe prayers and Bible verses, after all, faith/prayer that is not accompanied by action is dead, right?

So why is it different for depression? Why do we assume we can fix depression, an illness, without proper treatment? Treatment in itself is another process, and I only started to get better after more than two years of treatment (that’s another story altogether). And the minute I started to feel better after following a treatment regimen for what felt like ages, that was when it dawned on me that depression is truly an illness and treatment works.

Treatment for depression is multi-pronged, combining medication, lifestyle habits and cognitive therapy among many other approaches. And when it comes to treating depression, one size doesn’t fit all, you have to keep at it, keep fighting it even without energy, keep trying something until it works.

Before then, like Joely says, I wore a mask when going out. I sucked it in and tried to act like everything was fine when it was not. I didn’t want to be outside the confines of my bedroom. Every time I stepped out of my house, all I could think about is how many more hours until I retreat to my cave again? I didn’t want to go out and did not go out unless it was absolutely necessary, like if I had to go to work.

 If anybody asked why I wasn’t showing up, I’d tell them I wasn’t feeling well and that would usually suffice and if they insisted, I’d tell them it was my head – I had a severe headache, if they pressed, – and that would be it. I didn’t want people to know I was depressed because first, a lot of people don’t understand depression, and second, while trying to be useful, they end up being very unhelpful and third, they wouldn’t know how to handle you. But now that I am better, I can speak about it, and I will resume re-writing my depression story. It is quite long, but I’ll do it in bite-size pieces.

Why pharmacists are not good people

The other day I went to buy a prescription-only drug at one of the "cheapest" or rather, most affordable/cost-effective pharmacies in the city. I happened to have been in town early enough, and I decided to pop in, while mentally bracing myself for the long queues filled with bargain-hunters like myself, that are a permanent feature of this particular drug store and its sister stores.

With pleasure I noted that there was just a handful of clients, looking bored and impatient as they idled on the rather insufficient seat at the waiting bay of the cramped chemist. I made my way to the counter where I ordered a prescription-only anti-depressant, while simultaneously fumbling through my handbag for the prescription. Before I could fish it out, the attendant on the other side of the meshed counter had completed my order complete with a discount, without ever asking to see my prescription. He directed me to join the other clients/patients who were waiting impatiently on the bench, as a different pharmacist worked on filling my prescription and completing my order. A few minutes later, I was out and about with my prescription-only anti-depressant without having to show any prescription chit from a doctor.

In my years as a person suffering from depression, I have been to many pharmacies, but only a few ever insisted on a prescription before dispensing the prescription-only drugs I asked for. Musing about this later, a thought crossed my mind that pharmacists are not "good" people.

A pharmacist will never tell you, "You look/sound awfully sick or you've been coming here to get pills to relieve these symptoms for too long, don't you think you should see a doctor to get to the root of your symptoms?"

Instead, a pharmacist will ask  for your symptoms and give you something to relieve them. I guess the first rule of pharmacy is to take the money, always; never turn away a customer ( patient). Yet sometimes those seemingly little but niggling problems belie a serious underlying illness, that needs urgent attention, but a pharmacist will be happy to take your money and prescribe something to relieve the symptoms, even as the illness simmers and festers beneath the surface.

Banned drugs

I've seen pharmacists push anti-malarials on people who've not had their blood passed through a Malaria Rapid Diagnostic Test. A pharmacist will sell you the absolute prescription-only abortion pill without a prescription. A pharmacist will sell you morning after pills without throwing in a cautionary “you should consider ‘regular’ contraceptives or even the possibility of HIV.” A pharmacist will sell you the one-tenth dose of antibiotics that you asked for as long as you slip the money across the counter, never mind that the world is grappling with the effects of misuse of anti-biotics in the form of drug-resistant bugs.

I once had a person standing behind the pharmacy counter prescribe Metakelfin (long after it had been banned alongside other sulfa-based anti-malarials such as Fansidar) as a way to prevent malaria just before I traveled to a malaria-prone region. It made me feel so sick, I had to go to a doctor, who informed me that that taking anti-malarials as a preventive measure before traveling to a malaria hot-spot was no longer recommended, not forgetting that I had ingested a banned drug and one I was allergic to too (I'm allergic to sulfa drugs).

Maybe I require too much from pharmacists, much more than they are cut out to be. Maybe they didn't take the Hippocratic Oath or any oath on patient safety and public health interest being paramount. Maybe those attendants who man pharmacy counters are not even real pharmacists, not even pharm-techs. Maybe they're just salespersons, placed there complete with sales targets. Maybe pharmacists are taught that the interests of the bottom line come above everything else.

Lastly, the self-medicating customer is also a fool who is easily parted with her/his money at the pharmacy and later in the hospital which s/he thought s/he'd dodged by bypassing the doctor and going straight to the pharmacy, after consulting Dr Google and/or a couple of strangers and friends.

Still, pharmacists are part of our health problems.

Woman to woman: The world is your oyster ... and other thoughts on scaling the heights

A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to meet with women who were going through a mentorship programme at one of the leading banks in Kenya. I listened and watched with a tinge of envy as the women talked about what being a part of that programme had done for them. It was heart-warming to hear about their transformation – the new confidence and self-belief – that changed the way they thought about themselves and their abilities in the workplace and the world at large. These were now formidable women who could take on any challenge in the world. They might feel fear and some self-doubt, but they would never balk in the face of the toughest assignment. They would put themselves out there for it. Spending time with them, I couldn’t help but wish that I was part of the programme they were in. That wasn’t possible, but I got a wealth of information those few hours I spent with them, and I’m sharing it with you.

Get a mentor

Mentorship changes everything. It helps you focus. It helps you dream bigger than you ever have. It helps you voice your fears and concerns and find a constructive way to deal with them. It gives you a sounding board. It gives you access to useful information, background, history, tricks and strategies … If you do nothing else on this list, get a mentor. Get a mentor early on in your career because this one step can help you rise higher and faster than the woman who tries to find her way around without mentorship. Structured mentorship programmes are particularly helpful.

Choose your associates wisely

Surround yourself with people who build you up, people who give you direction, people who give you good advice. Surround yourself with people and things that boost your confidence in yourself and your abilities and reduce contact with people and things that put you down and diminish your confidence in yourself and your capabilities.

Stop trying to be a superwoman

Don’t try to do it all (especially at home). You don’t have to be an impossibly perfect wife and/or mother. Build a support system in your husband and your house manager and children (if they are old enough) and equip them to handle some of the tasks, which you can then delegate to them so that you have time on your hands to do the things that you really want to focus on. You will feel happier, more fulfilled, less guilty, more at peace and more accomplished.

Dream big

You might feel afraid; you might feel doubtful about your skills, abilities and experience, but don’t let that niggling self-doubt keep you from applying for jobs or challenging tasks or high-level opportunities and positions. Feel the fear and put yourself out there anyway. Feel the doubt, but send your application anyway. The worst that can happen is that you will not get the job/opportunity. On the other hand, you might, with pleasant surprise, qualify for it; but you only get a chance if you put a foot in the door by sending your application. If you don’t put a foot in the door, you’ll be left wondering what if and what could have been if only you had tried. Don’t be caught in that what if cycle, try, try, try because you never know until you try. Open your eyes to the possibilities and be bold enough to give yourself a fighting chance. You are stronger than you think, more qualified than you imagine, and more capable than you believe. Do something that you think you cannot do. Stretch yourself. Don’t walk away from any challenge, rise to meet it head on, because you can.

Get to know your heroes

The women you admire - the women who have it all together – they have their own fears and insecurities, but they don’t allow them to stop them from reaching for the stars. Have a candid chat with a woman you admire and you might be surprised. She has also faced hurdles, even though it seems as if she had none or that she was luckier than most … She has faced the same obstacles and challenges that you have, but she didn’t let that stop her. She kept her eyes on the prize and kept pushing forward, jumping over one hurdle and the next as she made her way to her goals. Listen to her story, the one with warts and all and the one with big and small victories. You will be happy to learn that she is as human as you are and you will feel encouraged to pursue big dreams despite your perceived shortcomings and difficulties.

Know yourself and build your brand

Know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes, your dreams and aspirations … then work on building your personal brand. What are your skills, strengths and talents? What do you want to be known and remembered for? What problems do you want to solve? Make sure what you are doing is visible by talking about it and sharing it on the various available platforms.

Pass it on

Take it upon yourself to share your story with other women, particularly those who are starting out. We all have the benefit of hindsight and experience. Talk about the challenges and how to go around them. Share the tricks, tips and strategies. Let them know how to find opportunities and keep pushing them to be the best they can be beyond gender stereotypes without tiring. Be a mentor and a guide so that they can rise higher faster than if they didn’t have someone to show them the way. That letter to your younger self, let it be heard to the women who are starting out where you did as a younger woman.

How a spending fast can help you boost your savings

Take a 40-day spending fast this Lent season to help you reach your financial goals faster.

You may not be a Catholic or a Christian, but the 40-day Lent season which starts today (Ash Wednesday), offers an opportunity for you to reach your financial goals faster by borrowing and observing one of the principles of Lent. Lent is a season of fasting, giving up something or self-denial. During Lent, many people choose to abstain/fast from one thing or another as a way to grow spiritually. You can apply the same principle to your money by going on a spending fast (also known as a financial fast or spending diet) for 30 or even 40 days, like Lent. Some people even choose to prolong the fast for a whole year to help them achieve a big goal like paying off debt faster, but as a beginner, I’d advise you take it slow then see if it is something you want to try for longer or every few months.

How it works:

For 40 days you just buy the things that are absolutely essential e.g. food, rent, school fees, etc, and leave out the rest. If you can buy some of the things you need during the fasting period in bulk so that you don’t keep going to the shops where you will find many temptations, the better. You can fast from eating out, alcohol, new clothes and shoes, accessories, some beauty treatments, travel, subscriptions, eating lunch at hotels during the work week, using your car every day if a matatu is cheaper (you know your weakness – that thing that you can do without but you keep spending money on it). If you won’t die for ditching it for the next 40 days, then you don’t need it (but that does not include taking a bath or basic grooming). If you have monitored your expenses continuously for a while, you will know exactly what to cut off because you know exactly where your money goes.

You can take measures like carrying packed lunch to work the whole week or at least three days a week instead of eating at a hotel or leaving your car at home and taking a matatu if the matatu is cheaper (you do the math.), taking a matatu instead of a taxi (as long as you are safe) and so on. Just check your budget and be ruthless about cutting out things you can cut out even if it’s just for three days a week.

Calculate how much you expect to save at the end of the 40 days by cutting out certain expenses and plan to put that cash somewhere safe like in your savings account or Mshwari lock account or a piggy bank or somewhere else of your choice, as long as you don’t touch it before the end of the fast. So if you were to spend Sh250 on lunch today but because of the spending fast you carry lunch from home for three days, put that money (Sh750) in your spending fast savings account or piggy bank. If you do that for six weeks (42 days), you’ll have saved Sh4500 by carrying lunch from home for only three days a week. If you carry lunch five days a week, you’ll save Sh7500 by the end of the 40 days. Now do the same with your weekend alcohol budget (you won’t die without it unless you are an alcoholic, in which case you need medical assistance), weekly coffee budget and those other small, small non-essential things you spend your money on without paying attention. Do the math and tell me if you still don’t have money to save, as many people told me when we started this (52-week saving) challenge.

To avoid feeling deprived, you can put some money in an envelope to spend as you wish during the 40 days of fasting, what we call “cheat days.” Be sure to put a date on that envelope e.g. March 1 to April 13 (when Lent ends). If you spend all the money in that envelope before April 13 or whichever date your 40-day spending fast ends, then you have no money left to cheat with so you’ll need to grit your teeth and forge forward; it is for a good cause after all. Plan your cheat days so that you have them spread out over six weeks, but do not assign too much money on your cheat days’ envelope. Alternatively, you can leave the envelope alone and give yourself a big treat at the end of the 40 days with that cash for making it through the fast.

Lastly, think about what you want to do with that cash that you are going to save during the 40-day financial fast: Will you use it to help pay off a loan you’ve been struggling with faster? Will you use it to buy those shares you always wanted to buy? Will you finally get to go on a getaway to get some much-needed rest after a lot of hard work? Will you use it to shore up your savings for the 52-week Savings Challenge? You get to decide what you want to do with the cash you’ve saved during the fast.

So will you give up anything for the next 40/42 days? What will you give up and how much do you expect to save by giving up those things for a short while? What will those savings help you achieve?


This post is brought to you by #SaveWithMshwari for the #52WeekChallenge

Join the 52-week Savings Challenge Kenya and network with people who are saving to reach their financial goals

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