A couple of weeks ago, I had the opportunity to meet with
women who were going through a mentorship programme at one of the leading banks
in Kenya. I listened and watched with a tinge of envy as the women talked about
what being a part of that programme had done for them. It was heart-warming to hear
about their transformation – the new confidence and self-belief – that changed
the way they thought about themselves and their abilities in the workplace and
the world at large. These were now formidable women who could take on any
challenge in the world. They might feel fear and some self-doubt, but they would
never balk in the face of the toughest assignment. They would put themselves
out there for it. Spending time with them, I couldn’t help but wish that I was
part of the programme they were in. That wasn’t possible, but I got a wealth of
information those few hours I spent with them, and I’m sharing it with you.
Get a mentor
Mentorship changes everything. It helps you focus. It helps
you dream bigger than you ever have. It helps you voice your fears and concerns
and find a constructive way to deal with them. It gives you a sounding board. It
gives you access to useful information, background, history, tricks and
strategies … If you do nothing else on this list, get a mentor. Get a mentor
early on in your career because this one step can help you rise higher and
faster than the woman who tries to find her way around without mentorship.
Structured mentorship programmes are particularly helpful.
Choose your
associates wisely
Surround yourself with people who build you up, people who
give you direction, people who give you good advice. Surround yourself with
people and things that boost your confidence in yourself and your abilities and
reduce contact with people and things that put you down and diminish your
confidence in yourself and your capabilities.
Stop trying to be a superwoman
Don’t try to do it all (especially at home). You don’t have
to be an impossibly perfect wife and/or mother. Build a support system in your
husband and your house manager and children (if they are old enough) and equip
them to handle some of the tasks, which you can then delegate to them so that
you have time on your hands to do the things that you really want to focus on.
You will feel happier, more fulfilled, less guilty, more at peace and more
accomplished.
Dream big
You might feel afraid; you might feel doubtful about your
skills, abilities and experience, but don’t let that niggling self-doubt keep
you from applying for jobs or challenging tasks or high-level opportunities and
positions. Feel the fear and put yourself out there anyway. Feel the doubt, but
send your application anyway. The worst that can happen is that you will not
get the job/opportunity. On the other hand, you might, with pleasant surprise,
qualify for it; but you only get a chance if you put a foot in the door by
sending your application. If you don’t put a foot in the door, you’ll be left
wondering what if and what could have been if only you had tried. Don’t be
caught in that what if cycle, try, try, try because you never know until you
try. Open your eyes to the possibilities and be bold enough to give yourself a
fighting chance. You are stronger than you think, more qualified than you
imagine, and more capable than you believe. Do something that you think you
cannot do. Stretch yourself. Don’t walk away from any challenge, rise to meet
it head on, because you can.
Get to know your
heroes
The women you admire - the women who have it all together –
they have their own fears and insecurities, but they don’t allow them to stop
them from reaching for the stars. Have a candid chat with a woman you admire
and you might be surprised. She has also faced hurdles, even though it seems as
if she had none or that she was luckier than most … She has faced the same
obstacles and challenges that you have, but she didn’t let that stop her. She
kept her eyes on the prize and kept pushing forward, jumping over one hurdle
and the next as she made her way to her goals. Listen to her story, the one
with warts and all and the one with big and small victories. You will be happy
to learn that she is as human as you are and you will feel encouraged to pursue
big dreams despite your perceived shortcomings and difficulties.
Know yourself and build your brand
Know yourself, your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and
dislikes, your dreams and aspirations … then work on building your personal
brand. What are your skills, strengths and talents? What do you want to be
known and remembered for? What problems do you want to solve? Make sure what
you are doing is visible by talking about it and sharing it on the various
available platforms.
Pass it on
Take it upon yourself to share your story with other women,
particularly those who are starting out. We all have the benefit of hindsight
and experience. Talk about the challenges and how to go around them. Share the
tricks, tips and strategies. Let them know how to find opportunities and keep
pushing them to be the best they can be beyond gender stereotypes without
tiring. Be a mentor and a guide so that they can rise higher faster than if
they didn’t have someone to show them the way. That letter to your younger
self, let it be heard to the women who are starting out where you did as a
younger woman.
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