2012: Lessons and musings

 This was the year when the world was supposed to end, not just according to the Mayans, but also according to the movie: 2012. This is also the year when I lived 10 years in 12 months (I was reflecting on the past year and was shocked to discover that all the things that flashed through my mind happened within the span of one year.) - At least that is how it feels, but thankfully it does not show much on my face.

My faith shook. I had a wake-up call. I achieved none of the things I had hoped to achieve - in fact I moved ten steps back. I edited the Saturday Magazine in an unexpected twist and it turned out fine. My heart broke over and over, but it still pumps blood. I became confused about marriage and somewhat figured out why I am afraid. I became a workaholic. I inched closer to 30. I became estranged from my friends and lost touch with who I am. etc. In short, I did the whole good, bad and ugly, just like before, but this time it was more intense. Above all, I learned every lesson that life threw my way and here are some:

• Flirting your way to the top works, but working your feminine charms in a male-dominated workplace can get you into sticky and messy alleys with no chance of salvation. But I would probably do it again for the simple reason that it works.

I finally learned how to spell the word Casanova, and discovered that I am still an English student, after having spent over two decades learning the language. Urgh!

The fastest way to get a tipsy woman who is stuck in the middle of a marsh sober is to call in a good-looking taxi-driver-cum-mechanic to rescue you. It's a very sobering remedy.

• I'm surprised that people are truly bothered about whether humans have a mating season. I wrote a spoof after noticing that so many women seemed to be pregnant at the same time and to date the key words: human mating season are the ones that lead people to my blog most.

If you tell a man that he acts like a woman, even if he does, it's gonna be the longest day you ever had. Don't do it. OK, just do it cos' it's slightly funny.

• You don't need an alarm clock to wake you up. I decided to end the long-running enmity between my alarm clock and my biorhythms and found out, I should have done so ages ago. Now I sleep soundly and only wake up when my body says enough.

You don't need a wardrobe full of clothes. I had a situation where I shipped my clothes to my sister's - sorry it was not a boyfriend- and forgot to bring them back. I have basically been wearing the same handful of clothes for months, the unwearable ones I had left at my house, and I've learnt that a little goes a long way. But the shopping bug is about to bite (So help me God!).

• My mum will never believe this for lack of video evidence, but a man convinced me to eat a whole bowl of pure, undisguised pumpkin soup. I'm not sure how I did it, but I ate the last drop of it and enjoyed it, and gladly bailed out of a second helping. Too much of a surprise is nauseous.

Your fears change with time, who would have thought I would be patting a dog with my hands, and should I really talk about the mouse thing? 

• All you need is to breathe and smile. And eat. some fruits, and move and stretch and laugh, and cry when you need to; and drink some water and talk...to your mum and pray and you'll be OK. All those other things are just unnecessary baggage.

 All I can tell 2013 is: Come get me!