Blast from my past: Risk and a verse

Back when I was in high school I dabbled in verse because I was bored. The education system was so intent on theory and rote learning, while I prefer something more fun, exploratory and practical.

I doodled all over my notebook instead of taking down notes, before I discovered a different way to daydream - by writing verse. My mother came across my collection and was shocked because (I guess) I had composed something a bit more grown-up than she would have expected. I stumbled on her reading it, and cursed myself for not hiding my notebooks in a safer place, but it was too late. She asked me: Is this what they teach you at school? And of course I had no answer, as I fidgeted uneasily and avoided her eyes.

I continued to compose verses till I completed school and a while longer thereafter. And that practice in writing random verses was not in vain because it won me a few Canadian dollars four years after I left high school.

Below is the winning entry in the text category of the 2008 YAHAnet's contest on risk and HIV/AIDS.

The poem illustrates that a person will engage in a behaviour which they know puts them at risk, because they are getting some sort of payoff (reward) for engaging in that behaviour. This perceived reward ensures that the person persists in a behaviour which they know has negative and unwanted consequences for them. For instance, in this poem, a girl has a boyfriend who has multiple sexual partners.The girl goes ahead to have unprotected sex with him, even though she is aware of the risk (of getting HIV) involved. She persists in this risky behaviour because she values the feeling of love she gets from this relationship so greatly, that it becomes the payoff that sustains her risky behaviour.

The verse was inspired by Dr Phil. I had just read one of his books.

PS- I do not consider myself a poet.

Deadly Payoffs: Why I Risk It

Dear auntie, when you sat me down

And told me to be careful in my relations with men

I knew you did it out of love

Don't get me wrong, I listened

And took in all you had to say

But auntie, I did not have a boyfriend then

So I thought, "It's so easy to be safe."

Dear auntie, I was so lonely

O how I longed to be loved by a man

Then he came into my life

And swept me right off my feet

I remembered your advice

And vowed to keep myself safe

But I did not know I would fall so deep in love

So I said, "I'll be safe, It's so easy"

Dear auntie he treats me so well

I feel like a princess, a star

And then came the moment

He asked me to have sex

I did not know his status, neither he mine

But it felt so natural, so safe

Even without protection

The only risk on my mind was

"Would I get pregnant?"

Dear auntie, he has three other girlfriends

I found their photos, and some used condoms at his house

I felt uneasy, could I be at risk?

And when I confronted him, he assured me

Nothing to worry about

We still do it unprotected

I wonder, "Am I really at risk?"

Dear auntie, they teach us all about HIV

In school, on tv and on the radio

Why then, do I not make good choices

To keep me safe from HIV

Auntie, I've never felt so loved before

And I do not want to lose his love

So even with all I know, I still put myself at risk

http://yahanet.org/gallery/written/271